Parenting the Perfect way.

We love our kids the most but yet find it so difficult to maintain a friendly bond with them. Ever wondered why? Why is it that the people who we wish the best for, are close to our heart but the bond is not strong at all?

Being a mom

I am a mother of two but a child at heart.

Apparently, I am the combination of a cook, teacher, buddy, sweeper, coach, counselor, and driver for my kids. And believe me, I love my job or rather a passion.

I had my first kid when I was just 20 years old. I barely understood motherhood then but all I knew was that no matter what, my baby is going to be my best friend. I am going to try my best to be my baby’s friend before being his mother.

Of Course, my husband felt the same but parenthood can’t be about bonding with your kid when the kid is lying on the floor and crying for something silly. And neither can parent techniques work when your teenager decides to stay in his stinky clothes and listen to rock music for weeks.

Training for being perfect parents!

Firstly, I feel that we are all parenting perfectly in our own ways. We are all at least trying our best to be good parents. All we need to do is to tell ourselves that we have the scope to learn more, to be better parents. 

And that’s exactly what we did. We watched videos, read books, heard all the possible audiobooks about parenting.

That’s what all enthusiastic new parents do I believe. And honestly, all our preparations did help us a lot in the initial years but we learn and grow with our own experiences and that’s exactly what happened with us.

Growing up with kids

Presently, my life revolves around a 12-year-old handsome boy and a super-naughty 7-year-old girl.  I eat, laugh, and play with my kids. 

Well, now you might think that all mothers do that with their children! Then what is it that makes my parenthood so special for me? 

I feel that I am lucky to be a young mom, it gives me a rare advantage as I think like them, many times act like them too. I am aware of their little joys, important secrets and not to be said aloud fears. I am pretty sure that I am going to be there on their speed dials in their moment of joy and worry.

We have laughed and cried together. We have made a mess, physically and mentally together, and stood strong to bear the consequences

As they grew from an infant to a toddler and now to a child. I have almost grown with them, my new persona as a mother has emerged as tentatively as their first steps.

Today I would love to share a few things that made parenthood a smooth ride for me

Stop expecting kids to be perfect.

We all want our kids to be perfect in life. The tag of the most intellectual, intelligent, smart kid must be given to our kids.  

To all those parents who wish that their kid should excel at everything, I have a question, are you a perfect human? No, right!? Then why do you burden your kid with your expectations?

You might have a good reason or intention towards your kid’s growth but when you have learned from your experiences in life, please allow your kids to do so too. 

It can be as simple as not liking a subject.

For example, my kid doesn’t like studying Hindi(Language), and I choose to count the years it will take for him to get rid of the subject rather than pressuring him to excel at it. 

Don’t be a villain in your child’s life by over-pressurizing. 

Try and spend quality time.

 I am sure you have gone on vacations and trips to the best of places with your kids, but have you ever waited for your child’s vacations to start? Not to go out on a trip with them but to just stay up with them all night? To laugh out loud with them. I have! Rather I have counted days with my kids for the vacations to start. We have stayed up all night and watched movies together. 

 My kids sleep early on school days and on vacations it’s just the opposite. I make sure that they follow a routine that they enjoy the most during vacations.

Why do I do that?

What is important is the fact that as a parent you always teach your child to excel at everything, to be mannerly, to have a proper routine but it is very important for your kid to know that their parents want to spend time with me too. That their parents like their company.

Kids love to break the rules and trust me they love it more when you do it with them.

Let out the child in you to see your child blossom. 

Stop saying “No” for everything.

I do understand that as a parent it’s not always possible to say yes to your child’s demands. But I also feel that it’s not correct to always say no to our kids. The more you say no, the more your child wants to do it.

We, humans, are born rebellious, right!?

 We never like to take no as an answer so why do we do it with our kids?

Don’t say no to junk food, instead say, let’s have them after lunch.

Don’t say your friend is not good, come up with proof because your teenager might trust his friend more than he trusts you. (Make sure you don’t lecture your kid about it later)

I am a mom who doesn’t like to say “no” often. And when I say no, my kids never question me. Over the years I have proudly earned this bond.

Give equal importance to your kid’s opinions

Like you feel that you are the smartest, your child feels the same. I agree that our kids are less experienced than us but they get their first experiences from us.

 Appreciate, applaud and acknowledge what they say. 

You might be surprised to know that before publishing any of my articles, I make sure I read them aloud in front of my kids because I feel that they are the most important people in my life and I honestly respect their opinions. 

With this small act of mine, my kids feel so much involved and appreciative towards my life. I have seen them pause their favorite television show and hang up their friends’ calls because they felt the importance of their involvement in my work.

Your work is important and only you can teach its importance to your kids.

Listen to be heard

If you can’t listen to your child, you probably can’t help them or yourself.  

Rather than explaining the whys and why not let’s just concentrate on why they want to do it? 

For example, your teenage kid might be going through a breakup, you can’t expect him to share everything with you. But you can always enter his room with his favorite snack, give him a hug and say, I am always there for you.

Trust me, it’s that simple.

It’s important to know here that if your teenager shares the most bizarre secret with you, you can’t lose your cool if you want to solve their problem.

Being a parent, you need to learn to prove to your kids that you are going to be there for them.

Parents need to understand

No child has learned to hate his parents by birth. If you have a teenage kid at home who doesn’t like to talk to you much or is always angry at you, the chances are that you have certainly done something to hurt their feelings.

In such situations, you must try to be patient. Try and prove to your kid that you are always there. 

 A friend of your child is not to be blamed for your child’s behavior.  

To all the mothers out there

Motherhood as they say is one of the most beautiful experiences in life. But it does come with a lot of stress. Young mothers are lucky to have more energy to deal with all the changes around them. 

Believe it or not, I am my son’s best friend, and I don’t think it’s just because I take care of his needs or I try to be there for him always, I guess it’s because he knows his mother can be as adventurous and mischievous as him. The crazy rides of the water park, the horse-riding session, or playing with his football, ahh I have done it all. Little joys of life like when we share chocolates or crazily jumping on the bed are absolutely priceless.  

 I haven’t had many sleepovers with my friends but I do wait for the yearly school breaks.

 I am glad I have spent the more energetic period of my life with my favorite people for life. They give me courage, support, love, and the ability to conquer the world. 

P.S. – Growing with kids, Learning with kids.

 I am thankful to God for the most beautiful creations of God “My Children”. 
Cheers
Aakriti.

Believe in it and it will happen!