The power of saying NO lies within you. Answers to every question cannot be Yes. But the power of saying No never comes easy.
One of the biggest lessons that life taught me is the power of saying No and its importance. A lesson that no book or inspiring video could teach me. The lesson that taught me that saying yes to everyone around can be practically draining.
Not to sound too modest but yes I am a person who cannot see anyone around me sad. I want everyone around me to be blessed and to always stay cheered up. And to keep up with that I was always ready to adjust. Family ,friends, or colleagues whoever wanted me to do a favor, I just couldn’t say no. I am sure you have been there too.
But slowly, through various jerks in life, I realized two things.
- Not everyone deserves my sweet attitude.
- By always trying to please everyone else, my cup was becoming empty. I was unhappy inside.
Let me share a few examples. I used to conveniently put my work on hold to do what people expected me to do. Like helping colleagues complete their pending files. Or going out and ordering food according to everyone else’s convenience. Simple things but they made a huge impact on my relationship with me and my career too.
Today as a life coach I do realize that a lot of my fellow women do this too. Pleasing people has left us incapable of loving ourselves. We don’t realize that this attitude of pleasing people has not allowed ourselves to be a priority in our own life.
I don’t support hypocrisy. But I now believe that giving importance to what you want and following your heart is never wrong. In fact, I feel that one does injustice to themselves by being a people pleaser.
Photo by Joël Super from Pexels
This one power of saying NO to things that I don’t approve of, has made me a better person. I now feel much more confident. I smile more and the most important fact, that I like myself for loving me. And for standing up for me.
Today I want to share with you the power that lies in saying NO.
5 life changing benefits of saying NO.
- It is the first step towards setting boundaries. When you say no to someone, you set boundaries. People realize that you are not comfortable with it and hence, take a step back. (They might think that you are arrogant or bitchy but don’t bother. Keeping everyone happy is not your job. A clear no is so much better than an uncomfortable yes. You really don’t have to bother.
- Over expectations don’t kill you anymore. Expectations are the worst. They are the biggest mood spoilers. You are generally expected to cook what everyone likes (not what you like). Colleagues expect you to be extra helpful. And relatives expect you to be present in every family get togethers. In order to stand up to everyone’s expectations you forget to stand up for yourself. YOur happiness becomes your priority only when you are not burdened by anyone’s expectations.
- Not just you, you become a priority for them too. Your opinion is duly noted and respected once you learn to respect it. The power of saying NO also teaches you that people respect those who respect themselves. So saying no to the prints and decors that you don’t like is better then cribbing about it later.Don’t approve wrong answers just because everyone else thinks that it’s correct. Once you learn to respect your thoughts and opinions, people learn to respect you too.
- Your days become more fulfilling. I always thought that helping the needy people is fulfilling for me. It is something that makes me happy. But little did I know that I was pouring from an empty cup. I was unhappy inside because I never did/said what I liked. This taught me that one cannot feel fulfilled by helping others if they can’t fill your own cup. You need to focus on you. Your smiles,your goals and your accomplishments. The day I learnt that my idea of happiness comes from within me. I started making the right choices. I learnt to say NO to all the less important things. I started dedicating more of my time to the things that I liked. I now eat what I like and preach what I believe in. And believe me, there is nothing more fulfilling than filling your own cup(making yourself happy).
- Self love becomes a habit. By saying NO to the things that you don’t approve of, you slowly start indulging in the things that make you happy. This one small habit will introduce you to you. It will teach you that it is okay to say NO to things and ideas that don’t matter to you. It also taught me that my job is to keep me happy. Because keeping the world around you happy is never in your job description. And in the same way no one has the ability to make you happy if you keep negotiating with yourself. You can only rely on yourself to stay happy. And if you can’t love yourself, you can’t really love anyone else.
Human mind is very complex when it comes to taking up decisions. 9/10 people want to go with what the majority wants to go with. Whether it’s elections or family drama. Seldom do we see anyone who has the power to say no to public opinions and stand up for what they believe in.
Conclusion : Saying no to the things you don’t approve of doesn’t make you a villain. It just makes life simpler.
Saying No is a skill I must say and people need to learn it. People tend to say yes thinking that they are pleasing others. But somewhere they are not happy with their decision.
Agree with your thoughts completely. saying no is an art and skill that everyone should learn. it is not possible to keep everyone happy all the time. this attitude lead to burnt out and cause many other mental health problems in future.
Your post is a reminder that we don’t have to feel guilty for standing up to our beliefs. It’s important to draw boundaries for our own sanity. It’s also healthy to have your space and remain happy with your choices.
Agree with you, no never comes very easy. I used to be a yes person. But now I’m a NO person. I say no to things I don’t want or that no longer serve me. I now say yes to my passions and to my blog; it took a long time to break that bad cycle of saying yes to everything and everyone, but I have become a much better person and am much happier as a result.
I think we Indians have an issue with saying No. It is this which lands us into many problems, be it in office or personal relationships. But one needs to develop the art of saying No, for all of the reasons that you have discussed.
I know the power of saying NO. I say so when I know I cannot fulfill or wish to fulfill someone’s expectation or desire. Its better to say NO than WILL SEE. The person next to you will not keep any wrong expectations for you and in future it will establish you as a better and reliable person.
You’re right that not everyone deserve our yes. Saying no is a skill and everyone should learn this for their mental health. It is important to draw boundries. It is indeed a helpful post.
Saying no is an art and everybody should practice that in their real life . Sometimes saying no sounds rude but in real gives inner satisfaction.
Saying no is an art and most people fail I’m doing it, end up fooling themselves by agreeing to everything. Once you start learning it comes easy to you and you will definitely see the difference
This two letter word may be too simple yet most of us have a hard time using it for the correct reasons. I always include this in any of my Self-Care affirmations or tips. Truly needed by each one of us.
By saying No we might lose some relationships but those would be the ones that drain us out. The right ones will stay with us no matter what. I have been an advocate of the importance of saying No. You have articulated.it quite well
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful article. This was my big problem. I never want to say no. Either my body won’t allow me to do some work but can’t say no. Now I learnt No doesn’t mean that I can’t do anything, it means I don’t want to do something.
Glad to hear that you learned your lesson right my friend.
Excellent post. I definitely appreciate this website. Thanks!
Thank you! your appreciation means the world to me!